We are a happy family!

Arent my boys handsome?

Loving Me....Loving You

This past week, I got home from Boise, Idaho. I took sweet Riley to see Robert's family. Unfortunately, Robert was unable to come. I hated leaving him, but I was able to really build relationships that were long overdue.
Being away from Robert was really tough. It made me realize that I may take my sweet husband for granted. He constantly loves me and takes care of me. He found me when I needed him most. I believe that we saved each other...as we continue to do so daily.
Life has been so sweet for us. Riley is growing so fast. It is so insane how quickly my baby boy is growing. He rolls all over the floor and is always babbling away. We are blessed beyond measure. Our life really is a dream come true. Robert has a great job that allows him to spend time with us. He is such an excellent husband and best friend. He is my confidant and I have entrusted to him my whole heart. I was able to get my associate degree, have a gorgeous baby and, get accepted into Dental Hygiene school this year. Productive, huh?! I am so excited to start school in the fall of 2011. What a wonderful year!!
I am treated so well by my sweetheart. I know that every day I have a great life to look forward to. Love is the most wonderful gift I have ever been given. How sweet it is to be loved and to love.

Sweeeet

I have the sweetest baby in the world. He is constantly smiling and laughing and he makes my world so much brighter. He hates going to sleep sometimes. It drives me crazy when I want to take a nap and he refuses to close his little eyes...and then, when I feel like I am going to die because I am so tired, he smiles. He smiles at me and I think to myself that he is soo much more fun than sleeping. Haha...I would so much rather be playing with my silly boy.
He is getting so big and I hate that one day I am not going to be able to cradle him in my arms and snuggle him up tight. He isnt always going to let me do that. Therefore, I am going to treasure every snuggle, every laugh, every moment I have with my boy. I am lucky. I am blessed.
I have been trying to work on some issues I am having. It could be lack of sleep, but I have been so tense. Unfortunately, I have been getting mad over the stupidest things or snapping about nothing. It really is ridiculous. My anxiety also feels like it is getting out of hand. When I do snap or get upset, no matter how small of an issue it was, I feel like all is lost. I hate it. I have such a hard time climbing over these small bumps. I just want to be more patient and I want to be nicer. I have to start putting in more effort to being better to my husband too. I married an excellent man and sometimes, I just dont give him the love he deserves. He might drive me crazy sometimes, but he is the most incredible man in the world. I have to teach myself to bridle my tongue and to choose my battles.
I really could use some help being better...sooo give me advice on how YOU control yourself when you get upset. I need some motivation! Thanks and I look forward to the feedback.

A new man in my life...

It has been a while since my last blog....too long.
On July 7, 2010, my world was rocked by my sweet baby Riley James. It wasn't easy...
I went to the hospital July 4th and 5th, but got sent home both times because my contractions were not consistent enough. I went to the doctor on the 6th and surprisingly, I had finally dilated to a 3. He told me I would be induced on the 7th so just to come into the hospital in the morning and they would break my water and get me started on medicines to help with labor. At around 4:00, my contractions were knocking me to my knees. I was having them consistently every 4-6 minutes. I went to the hospital, so scared I was going to get sent home again. They kept me! I was at a four and having good contractions. They gave me a sleeping pill and started me on a low dosage of pitocin. The night was no fun... In the morning, the doctor broke my water-which didnt do anything because Riley's head corked it all in. I found out that morning that I couldnt have an epidural. I was not having a good time... I was dilated to a 6 at 12:00....at 12:15 I was a 10 and was ready to push. The nurses start working with me and call the doctor and tell him to get there. The doctor gets there at like 1245 and has to tell me to stop pushing so he can be ready. After the doctor yelling at me telling me to pull myself together and making me push his way, and on his count, my beautiful baby boy came into the world at 1:05.
July 7, 2010- Riley James Dilgard
Only two weeks later, on July 23rd, my incredible husband graduated with his BS in Sociology. A few days later, we started our journey to TN. We got to TN around the 29th and moved into our beautiful apartment. I love love love it (thank you so much, Nae!). Robert started his new job as a middle school spanish teacher on August 8th. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments. He has worked so hard. I am so impressed and grateful for such a wonderful husband!
We are so happy to be in TN. I am so thankful that I get to be close to my clan. I have had so much fun with everyone, but I am missing my Becky Boo Baby. Riley really misses her too
Life has been oh too sweet. I will be posting pictures soon :)

Crazy Dreams

So, I have really crazy dreams. I usually dream I am in labor and I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I need to go to the hospital. Great, right? Ha. Well, last night I had the best dream by far.
My dream...
I was just at my apartment and I looked over at my mom and she was holding a baby. I looked at her and I said, "Mom, whose baby is that?" Then, I looked down and I was wearing a hospital gown. That is when it hit me. She was holding my baby. I looked back up and asked when I had given birth. I could not remember any of it! I told Mom and Robert that I seriously could not remember having the baby and they just kind of laughed and told me that my epidural must have been a really good one. So, I went over to hold my baby, and when I looked at him, he was huge! He must have been like 10 lbs when he was born. I was like, what the?! Mom, how much did he weigh??? I could not recall anything from being at the hospital. Well, mom and robert couldnt remember either. Goodness. He looked like I did as a baby though. Lots of dark hair. Anyway, I guess mom was about to change his diaper so he didnt have one on and she asked me to take over. I went to change it and he started pooping. Blah, he is a mess even in my dreams! Riley James, I can tell you are a trouble maker already! Crazy child. I woke up pretty weirded out by that dream

Update- I went to the doctor today and good news! I am 50% effaced...but not dilating yet. I am going to do everything I can to get that process started. Please pray that he comes when my mom is here! I would be sooo upset if he were late. She got her plane ticket to stay only until July 8th...which stresses me out a little. It will be a short little trip and I feel like I am going to need her a little longer.

Pictures by Amy

Amy, thanks so much for doing these. They turned out great! You have some real talent :)

2 Weeks and 4 Days

I guess you could say that I am getting pretty anxious. I am due in 2 weeks and 4 days...Yes, I do have a count down. I went to the doctor yesterday and they checked me. Well, I am not dilating or thinning out yet. I was so bummed. I am so paranoid he is going to be late and my mom wont be able to be here for it. If I do start dilating and my cervix is "favorable," I was told I could be induced a week early. If I am able to get induced, I want to do it on either July 1st or 2nd. I want him to be here by fourth of July so I can go to a bar-be-que. Mom asked me who was going to throw one and I told her that if I dont have anywhere to go, Robert will grill out! haha. Either way, July 4th I am eating some grilled chicken, watermelon, and anything else that I want. I dont care if I am pregnant or not. My body has been giving me a few issues lately, but I guess that is to be expected. I think things have flared up a little that were pretty close to nonexistent before. It makes things a little harder, but I have a lot of support from Robert. I probably scare that boy 24/7 because I get so grumpy...but he still loves me.
I can not wait to move to TN, but we are still trying to figure out how we are going to get there. We sold the black car which gave us the money we needed to get there...but then my car broke down and we are going to have to pay to get it fixed. It isnt going to eat all the money we got from the black car, but it is taking a significant chunk of it. I guess that is life for you- everything wont always be perfect. I miss Michael and Amy a lot. They have only been gone a little while, but I wish I could see them. I have no desire to really go to Idaho Falls since they are not there. Well, I best get off here. Love to all

So long, Keisha, my ghetto machine

We have been trying to sell the black car for a few weeks. Yesterday, within an hour, it was sold. A couple came and looked at it, test drove it, and called us back offering to bring a check right over. It was such a blessing and we actually got a little more than our asking price. It was a little sad to let her go though. I have Layla, my white jetta, but I will miss Keisha's attitude. Hahaha. Seriously though, that car had some personality. Now, hopefully we will have enough money to get us out to Tennessee at the end of July. It will be hard to just have one car, but I think we can make it work. Robert still has his bike, but we have to figure out how we are going to get it to TN.
Anyway, I go to the doctor tomorrow. I will let everyone know if I get any new news. Much love to yall!

Just Lookin' for a Waterfall

Last Sunday, as a nice little activity, we went in search for a waterfall in Swan Valley. We had looked it up on the internet and this is what we were looking for-

Well, we were never able to find them. But we did have a lot of fun...and this is what we did find

Cows- this one was my favorite

There really was a lot of beauty to be seen, even if we did not find that stinkin waterfall

It was a lot of fun and I got to spend time with some of my favorite people!

Craft Happy

Watch Bands: I love making these. These are actually for Amy and Kara-

Ri-guy: Im doing Riley's room in Busy Being all the Bees (Pres Hinkley). I made these to coordinate with his bumble bee bedding. I have soo much fun painting-

My Little Experiment: I have been wanting to paint and since I have all the free time in the world, I did this. It was a blank canvas at first.

This looked pretty dreary, so I wanted to make it look less dark. What do you think?

What a Wonderful Week!

Things were looking a little bleak for a few weeks, but let me tell you how things have shaped up. I have had the best past week. It was seriously wonderful. First of all, I called the University of Tennessee and told them about my situation and they were so understanding. They told me that it would be in my best interest and the baby's if I took a year off and deferred until next year. I really was not expecting that, but I wrote a letter asking to defer. Then, later in the week, I got a phone call from my doctor's office saying that I had won the drawing for a free one hour massage and lots of cute handmade flower clips for my hair. I was on cloud nine. My chances of winning were slim considering all of rexburg goes to my doctor and I only put my name in once. Michael had asked me if Robert and I could come down and spend the night with the kids on Saturday so he and Amy could go to Salt Lake. I said yes, and only a few days later he called and told me that his in-laws were coming to town so he couldnt go. He offered his hotel room to Robert and me. We went to Salt Lake and had so much fun!! On the way there, we stopped to get gas and saw a little barbeque stand. It was so delicious! If the sauce had been different, it would have been memphis-good. We mainly did things on Temple Square, but it was fantastic. I ran into Amy's cousin, Sister Alex Warner, which was a fun little surprise. Then, we went to dinner at The Garden restaurant. It is on the 10th floor of the Joseph Smith memorial building and it overlooks the temple. It was so pretty. I talked to the manager for a while and found out that her son is in memphis going to school. She brought us free fried pickles and they were so yummy. It was seriously the best part of the meal. After dinner, it was raining and we needed to get back to our hotel. We walked in the rain, but it was not too bad. I enjoyed it. I have had the best week :)

I can do this...right?

I have always wanted to go to dental hygiene school. Some people are confused about their career paths, but I never was. I worked really hard, kept a great GPA, and applied. Along this path, my life changed a lot. I got pregnant, but still had every intention of going to school, even if it was just a month after the baby came. I had not really prayed about it, but I felt like I needed to. I prayed and I was very strongly prompted to delay dental hygiene school in order to take responsibility as a mother. I was okay with this and I felt confident. Well, not too long later, I received an acceptance letter from the University of Tennessee Health Science Center. My heart was broken. All I thought I had wanted was right at my finger tips.
I was stubborn and looked into every possibility of being able to go to school. I felt a little guilty and one of my friends asked me if I had prayed about it...well, I had before, but I was questioning what I had felt and so she asked me to pray again. I did not want to though...I wanted to be able to do it and everything work out... I really dont think I was willing to hear. I humbled myself, and I looked even deeper. In a way, my heart aches giving up something that I have always wanted. I look at those educated women around me and I really do envy it. I have chosen to put off school this year because of something more important. It breaks my heart, but I am confident in my choice and I know that I have to have the faith to act on it...but it does not mean that this has not been difficult for me. I have to trust that the Lord knows better than I do...even though right now it is so hard. I just need some love and support right now-that might sound a little silly, but it has been a struggle. I can not complain though. Life is great, well except for the fact that I can not eat sweets for the rest of my pregnancy. I failed one of my blood-sugar tests and they told me I cant eat sweets or I will have a 12 lb baby. No ice cream is driving me crazy. We passed my dairy queen and they had blizzards buy one, get one for 25 cents. I started crying because I promise there are never deals like that when I can eat it. Boo you, dairy queen. Anyway, I better run. I love you all!

Here the belly is!!

Here you have the belly and all!!

Emotional Battles

Here lately, I have really been fighting to be happy. I feel like I am constantly just standing on the edge just waiting there. I am not sure why it feels like things are so much harder than they usually are. I know that there is a lot of pride and selfishness involved with feeling unhappy. I have been trying really hard to come up with a genuine recipe for smiles. I do not have a hard time smiling, but sometimes I do have a hard time just feeling good in general...Here is my spill.....(please be patient with me)
First of all, I know my hormones are all sorts of crazy because I am pregnant. Not only am I pregnant, but I barely transitioned from being part of a huge social scene in the "single" life. This really has been a hard transition. I went from constantly playing and being around tons of people to the norms of married life. Robert really is wonderful, but I miss being able to be around so many different types of people and just having girl time with roommies. I really hope that the people that do have those times and privileges do not take them for granted. They really are times to be cherished.
It makes me feel somewhat alone and everyday I am so scared that I am not going to be a good mom. I can have all the reassurance in the world, but I know it is something I am going to have to prove to myself.
Along with all these sad feelings, I have been having really bad anxiety. I get really nervous around people and then I start getting really hot and my face turns red, I feel like I cant breath and I am being suffocated. When I do get fresh air and I am alone, I cry. Im not sure what makes me cry, but I do. I feel scared and then I feel confined. I hate those feelings. What happened to the social butterfly in me?
I feel like I am writing these things and maybe it will be a step closer to me being better or doing what it takes to be better.
A call to action: I was reading in 2 Nephi 10, and verses 23 and 24 really stuck out to me. I read them a bit differently than I had in the past. This is what I pulled out of them: Happiness comes from aligning our actions with the will of God. It makes it perfectly clear in these verses that happiness IS a choice. I have always believed that, but I needed to see that and interpret it the way I did. Thank goodness for the little mercies in life....

Age: 21 glorious years!
Bed size: Full :-/ Hopefully that changes soon
Chore I hate: Folding clothes.....urghhh!!
Dog's name: None
Essential to start my day: Brushin my teeth
Favorite color: Red or turquiose
Gold or silver: Gold
Height: 5'8
I am: really tired...going to bed very soon!
Job: Full time student. Im working on getting a job though
Kids: One on the way. I hope to have lots.
Living arrangements: 2 bed room apartment. It is very cute! I love it.
Mom's name: I call her Bom, she goes by Diane, but her real name is Porla...I love you bom!
Nickname: Chare, Chare bear,
Overnight hospital stay: Bladder surgery
Pet peeve: Things not going in the dishwasher right.
Quote from a movie: "After all, tomorrow is another day." -Gone with the wind
Right or left handed: Righty-so original.
Siblings: Renee', Michael, Sandra, James, Rebekah
Time I wake up: If I could, 9:00 everyday. It just always feels good.
Unique thing about my car: Her name is Keisha; she is a black avenger
Vegetable I hate: brussel sprouts
Ways I run late: Usually just when I am waiting on every one else.
X-rays I've had: Oh, lots.
Yummy food I make: If I make it, it is yummy
Zoo favorite: Monkeys...hippos.

Listen, all you haters:

Okay, okay!! I am going to try really hard to get better at blogging!! I do not look pregnant enough to put up pictures. I would just feel chubby in them. My life is not too eventful right now, but I did have some inspiration:
I was just thinking about how short tempered I have been. It seems like the people I care about the most are the ones that I need to treat the best, but I take my frustrations out on them. I started thinking about how it is our family that deserves to be treated the best, but because we are so comfortable around them, our bad side may come out. I really am going to put an effort forth to uplift those that I love. I want to try to always put my best foot forward. It always seems like I lose my patience so quickly around the people I am closest too. However, they are the ones that deserve the full patience from you. I just thought of these things and thought they were worthy of sharing. Maybe we could all take a look at how we are treating those that mean the most to us and hopefully we are showing them they mean the most through our actions toward them.
Morgan is in Idaho visiting me. It is fun to have her here. She keeps me from being bored. I have fun fun fun! Ha, it is hard to get homework done though.
Life is great. Im so happy that I am alive and I pray that I am able to stay optimistic. I really do hope that I can treat everyone around me better. I really do need to make that a top priority.

For Mom...and the rest of you :)

Every time I talk to Mom, she tells me that I need to get on and blog. Okay, okay! I will do it!
So everyone knows by now that I am pregnant. Things are going great. I feel sick a lot, but I rarely throw up (I hate to say that around Nae, she is a sickly one). I am in school and have been working my butt off trying to keep my grades up. I have applied for Dental Hygiene school, and if all works out, I will be in school August 17th doing that. Life is busy, but it helps the days to go along a little faster. I can not wait until Mom gets here. I am going to have to work extra hard to stay on track because I know I am going to want to go see her a lot.
I am trying to work out a way to come home in April. I really want to see all my family. San and Daddy especially.
I am pretty sure I am going to name Baby Dilly Riley James. I love the name Riley because it is a southern name. My mom had an uncle riley, so it is a family name as well. James comes from my big brother. I have always looked up to him and I want to name my baby after him. I do not have too much to say. I feel like I am just rambling right now, but if I come up with something significant to say, I will be sure to blog.....Love to all!! -charity