So what, Im Late!!

I am not always the best at keeping on top of my blog, but I decided I needed to do a little post for Fathers Day.
We had a most wonderful Sunday that day. This is how it went...
Riley and I made Robert a delicious breakfast that was hot and ready when he got out of bed. We all ate together and then headed to church. Sacrament was especially fun because my girlfriend, Kirie, who is the primary music leader, was out of town, and I got to stand in for her. I got up with the primary kids and lead them through the "Im so glad when daddy comes home" song. Oh my gosh, it was totally sweet and those children are absolutely darling. Robert then took Riley so I could go do the music in Primary, I loved it. Riley was really good for Robert and it is always so sweet when I look out and see our little Riley fast asleep in his daddys arms...I guess that must be one of the most terrific things about being a father; the comfort your children find in your arms. Anyway, we went home and got ready to go see my dad. We went to Jackson and I got to see some of the men in my life that I admire and love more than they even know it. Papaw and my daddy were both there, along with my brother, and brothers-in-law.
I can not tell you how grateful I am for the love, kindness, support, and strength my father has give me. He is such an incredible man and it brings me so much happiness knowing that my children will be able to say the same about their father.
I really wish we could have seen my sweet father-in-law. I am just so thankful that Robert had such a great man as a father, whom I love very much.
So, cheers to the most wonderful fathers in the world!!

April is already here...well, almost!

It is the last day of march. What a great month we had! We are truly blessed and life is just as sweet as ever!!
Robert just started his anatomy class. It's every tuesday and thursday from 530-930. He leaves for work around 7AM and doesnt get home until late. I hate that we don't get to see him, but the time we spend with him, we really make it count! He is such a wonderful provider and works so hard. What an impressive man!
He has recently applied for the accelerated nursing program at Union University and we are crossing our fingers that he gets in. I am confident that he will. He would be done one year and would have his bachelors in nursing. After nursing school he wants to work in an ER and go onto CRNA school. Plans could change, but that is the path he is pursuing for now.
Riley. Wow. That child gets more and more colorful everyday. He is always laughing and smiling. He loves sweet potato baby food and hates peaches. He eats pretty much anything. A few funny stories about my little handful- At night I have pants on him, in the morning, they are off. Ha, he takes off his pants when he is in his crib. He likes to chase 2 liters around the room. I think he might be a soccer player. He likes for us to help him walk around the room and he likes to kick and chase to soccer ball.
He currently weighs 20 lbs. He has thinned out quite a bit. He pulls up on all the furniture and uses it to walk around.
I really enjoy watching him grow. He has started mocking me when I say something. I told him "no" earlier and he started saying "nahnahnah" He recognized the Nuh noise and repeated it. I just love watching him learn. What a smart boy!!
And for me....I am going to learn to make super cute cake pops. I love baking and I am about to get out of my comfort zone and make some stuff I have never done. I cant wait to try out some new recipes. I just love cooking. Life is great. We live a rich life :)

Busy as a bee....

February has come and gone so fast. Time subtly slips right through our fingers.
My angel baby has grown so much. He is on the verge of crawling and my heart explodes everytime he says "mama" and throws his arms out for me to get him. I wish I could put a little freeze frame on our life right now. Robert is the best spanish teacher ever and he works so hard. I send him off to school everyday with a blue lunch box filled with goodies and anxiously wait for him to get home in the afternoon. Riley gets so excited when Robert comes in. He starts kicking his little legs and smiling and laughing. We are blessed to have such a happy little guy.
I am so anxious to start dental hygiene school. Im not anxious to leave the little man that I spend 24/7 with, but I know I need to do this for my family...for him.
I have been thinking a lot about the silent struggles that people often face. I am trying to go out of my way to make life a little happier or easier for those around me. Whether they be of my same social status, race, religion, etc, I want to make people happy. I love making people smile and the more that I am able to make others feel important and loved, the better I feel about myself. I think that is a beautiful concept.
Everyday, I want to grow into the woman that I know Heavenly Father wants me to be. Robert is constantly helping me to improve and I fall a little more in love with him every day. Granted, there are times he drives me crazy, but we are married so that is to be expected ;)
I really do need to get some pictures up. Riley has grown so much and is such a beautiful baby. He is so full of life and energy. My family calls him the "spaz." I never could have understood the way a mother loves until I became one. It is a love that has gradually grown and matured. It is special...
I hope you are all making the most out of life and trying your hardest to enjoy every minute of it! Love to you all :)

The best birthday ever

I know I am late getting this up, but I had to blog about my wonderful birthday. I turned 22 glorious years old on January 14th. Birthdays are a big deal to me. I love love love them.
My day....
My wonderful mother came to Memphis to take me to lunch and took me to Red Lobster. Yummmy!! I ate a yummy seafood lunch. When we got in the car to drive home, the presesnts she had gotten me were not hidden well enough so I found them and snickered! Ha, I am too tricky! My mom laughed and handed me a bag. A new three barrell, with large barrells and a pair of crystal earrings I have been drooling over for a while. We then went to see Robert in the classroom. He was trying to teach his class how to sing me happy birthday in spanish, but I got there before he was finished teaching them, so they sang to me in english. He got to show Riley and me off to his eigth graders and we had fun meeting the kids. I hated to leave him, but I knew he would be off before too long.
Robert came home from work and in one hand he had a dozen gorgeous hot pink long stemmed roses. They were called "hot princess" roses. In the other hand, he held a bottle of strawberry sparkling cider. I was so happy to see him; the roses and cider were just a plus. We left Riley with Sandra and Brent and set off to have an evening to ourselves. We went to Outback Steakhouse (steak is my favorite) and had a delicious steak dinner. Then we went to Baskin Robbins, where Robert had got me an ice cream cake! I was so excited and laughed so hard when I saw the cake. It had "Walter and Bazaar" on it. This is an inside joke between us and it still makes me laugh thinking about it. We shared the cake with my family when we went to pick up our precious baby boy. The next morning, I got all ready and I had invited my family and just a few friends to eat dinner with me that night at Nae's house. Nae made my favorite meal, sweet pork burritos. My mom is soo funny. She was bound and determined to have me an ice cream cookie from Maggie Moos. We drove an hour, due to traffic and construction, to get my birthday cookie. When we got there, my mom spoiled me and got me ice cream cupcakes too! I had so much fun laughing and giggling with Renee and Mom on the way to get the cupcakes. It could have been frustrating, but we laughed it off. I got to dinner and was ready to party!!
Renee had got me a pair of Gianni Bini high heels....they were sooooo awesome! I love them. Along with the heels, she had me Viva la juicy, and other goodies.
Sandra got me Noir and a super cute exercise top. I love that she is supporting my healthy lifestyle :)
I got lots of other good treats that are all very noteworthy, but I dont want to brag too much ;)
I had such a great birthday. I loved having my family and friends over and celebrating the most important day of my history....ha, the day that I came to be!

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

This past year was one of the best years of my life. It seemed like everything I wanted to accomplish, I did...and then some!
I got my associates degree in April and found out that I was accepted into the bachelors program for Dental Hygiene school. Getting into hygiene school is very competitive, but I did it!! I thought I was going to have to turn down the offer and re-apply due to the baby situation I was in. However, I called the school, and they told me that they would let me defer a year so that I could spend a year getting use to being a mom....how awesome is that!?! In July, my life changed for forever. The 7th day of July, my beautiful baby boy decided to come into my arms. My heart fills with so much joy just thinking of his tiny little nose and sweet cooing. I knew my life would change when he came, but I didnt know how much warmth and sunshine would come, or how much love I would feel. I have known what it feels like to love, but I could not even begin to explain the magnitude of love that has come to me and how I have been able to expand my love.
On August 8th, my love, Robert, and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary. On this day, Robert blessed Riley in the same ward that I was blessed in 21 years prior. It was a beautiful blessing and a perfect day.
Everyday I am so grateful for my life. Robert is a dream come true. Riley is the most pure loving person in this world. They make my life better everyday.
In November, Sandra tied the knot with Brent. I am so happy for them!
In early December, I was able to take Riley to visit my incredible in-laws. I love the Dilgards and had so much fun with them. We ate lots of yummy food, made christmas cookies together, shopped together, stayed up late, and lots of other fun stuff. I am blessed to have them in my life. I know that Robert and I knew each other before this life and loved each other and each others families long ago. I miss them and I wish that they were closer. I really hope September and Travis get to live in San Antonio, TX for school so we can drive to see them. I love them all so much.
Christmas was the best Christmas I have had in a long time. It was so exciting for me to be in TN and not only was I in TN, but I had Robert and Riley. Riley's first Christmas was so much fun.
New Years was also so exciting. The last day of the year I was able to go to a sealing in the temple. It was so wonderful to be in the temple the last day of the year :) The reception was held that night at the train depot. The DJ was incredible and I danced the night away. I still got it ;) I had so much fun tearing the dance floor apart with Robert and with my mom and sisters. We know how to have fun!!
The first day of the year, I am sitting here, blogging about the last. I made black eye peas, fried green tomatoes, cornbread, and fried chicken strips. Robert and I are watching a football game together. We are just about to use the AWESOME ice cream maker September got us and make homemade strawberry ice cream...yummmmy!!!!
It was a wonderful year. It started out beautifully, and went out with a bang!!
I can not wait to see what this year has in store for us. I know that in Aug, I will be starting school again, yikes! I only anticipate the best for this year. Happy New Year everyone! Let's make it a good one!!!!!

We are a happy family!

Arent my boys handsome?

Loving Me....Loving You

This past week, I got home from Boise, Idaho. I took sweet Riley to see Robert's family. Unfortunately, Robert was unable to come. I hated leaving him, but I was able to really build relationships that were long overdue.
Being away from Robert was really tough. It made me realize that I may take my sweet husband for granted. He constantly loves me and takes care of me. He found me when I needed him most. I believe that we saved each other...as we continue to do so daily.
Life has been so sweet for us. Riley is growing so fast. It is so insane how quickly my baby boy is growing. He rolls all over the floor and is always babbling away. We are blessed beyond measure. Our life really is a dream come true. Robert has a great job that allows him to spend time with us. He is such an excellent husband and best friend. He is my confidant and I have entrusted to him my whole heart. I was able to get my associate degree, have a gorgeous baby and, get accepted into Dental Hygiene school this year. Productive, huh?! I am so excited to start school in the fall of 2011. What a wonderful year!!
I am treated so well by my sweetheart. I know that every day I have a great life to look forward to. Love is the most wonderful gift I have ever been given. How sweet it is to be loved and to love.

Sweeeet

I have the sweetest baby in the world. He is constantly smiling and laughing and he makes my world so much brighter. He hates going to sleep sometimes. It drives me crazy when I want to take a nap and he refuses to close his little eyes...and then, when I feel like I am going to die because I am so tired, he smiles. He smiles at me and I think to myself that he is soo much more fun than sleeping. Haha...I would so much rather be playing with my silly boy.
He is getting so big and I hate that one day I am not going to be able to cradle him in my arms and snuggle him up tight. He isnt always going to let me do that. Therefore, I am going to treasure every snuggle, every laugh, every moment I have with my boy. I am lucky. I am blessed.
I have been trying to work on some issues I am having. It could be lack of sleep, but I have been so tense. Unfortunately, I have been getting mad over the stupidest things or snapping about nothing. It really is ridiculous. My anxiety also feels like it is getting out of hand. When I do snap or get upset, no matter how small of an issue it was, I feel like all is lost. I hate it. I have such a hard time climbing over these small bumps. I just want to be more patient and I want to be nicer. I have to start putting in more effort to being better to my husband too. I married an excellent man and sometimes, I just dont give him the love he deserves. He might drive me crazy sometimes, but he is the most incredible man in the world. I have to teach myself to bridle my tongue and to choose my battles.
I really could use some help being better...sooo give me advice on how YOU control yourself when you get upset. I need some motivation! Thanks and I look forward to the feedback.

A new man in my life...

It has been a while since my last blog....too long.
On July 7, 2010, my world was rocked by my sweet baby Riley James. It wasn't easy...
I went to the hospital July 4th and 5th, but got sent home both times because my contractions were not consistent enough. I went to the doctor on the 6th and surprisingly, I had finally dilated to a 3. He told me I would be induced on the 7th so just to come into the hospital in the morning and they would break my water and get me started on medicines to help with labor. At around 4:00, my contractions were knocking me to my knees. I was having them consistently every 4-6 minutes. I went to the hospital, so scared I was going to get sent home again. They kept me! I was at a four and having good contractions. They gave me a sleeping pill and started me on a low dosage of pitocin. The night was no fun... In the morning, the doctor broke my water-which didnt do anything because Riley's head corked it all in. I found out that morning that I couldnt have an epidural. I was not having a good time... I was dilated to a 6 at 12:00....at 12:15 I was a 10 and was ready to push. The nurses start working with me and call the doctor and tell him to get there. The doctor gets there at like 1245 and has to tell me to stop pushing so he can be ready. After the doctor yelling at me telling me to pull myself together and making me push his way, and on his count, my beautiful baby boy came into the world at 1:05.
July 7, 2010- Riley James Dilgard
Only two weeks later, on July 23rd, my incredible husband graduated with his BS in Sociology. A few days later, we started our journey to TN. We got to TN around the 29th and moved into our beautiful apartment. I love love love it (thank you so much, Nae!). Robert started his new job as a middle school spanish teacher on August 8th. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments. He has worked so hard. I am so impressed and grateful for such a wonderful husband!
We are so happy to be in TN. I am so thankful that I get to be close to my clan. I have had so much fun with everyone, but I am missing my Becky Boo Baby. Riley really misses her too
Life has been oh too sweet. I will be posting pictures soon :)

Crazy Dreams

So, I have really crazy dreams. I usually dream I am in labor and I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I need to go to the hospital. Great, right? Ha. Well, last night I had the best dream by far.
My dream...
I was just at my apartment and I looked over at my mom and she was holding a baby. I looked at her and I said, "Mom, whose baby is that?" Then, I looked down and I was wearing a hospital gown. That is when it hit me. She was holding my baby. I looked back up and asked when I had given birth. I could not remember any of it! I told Mom and Robert that I seriously could not remember having the baby and they just kind of laughed and told me that my epidural must have been a really good one. So, I went over to hold my baby, and when I looked at him, he was huge! He must have been like 10 lbs when he was born. I was like, what the?! Mom, how much did he weigh??? I could not recall anything from being at the hospital. Well, mom and robert couldnt remember either. Goodness. He looked like I did as a baby though. Lots of dark hair. Anyway, I guess mom was about to change his diaper so he didnt have one on and she asked me to take over. I went to change it and he started pooping. Blah, he is a mess even in my dreams! Riley James, I can tell you are a trouble maker already! Crazy child. I woke up pretty weirded out by that dream

Update- I went to the doctor today and good news! I am 50% effaced...but not dilating yet. I am going to do everything I can to get that process started. Please pray that he comes when my mom is here! I would be sooo upset if he were late. She got her plane ticket to stay only until July 8th...which stresses me out a little. It will be a short little trip and I feel like I am going to need her a little longer.

Pictures by Amy

Amy, thanks so much for doing these. They turned out great! You have some real talent :)

2 Weeks and 4 Days

I guess you could say that I am getting pretty anxious. I am due in 2 weeks and 4 days...Yes, I do have a count down. I went to the doctor yesterday and they checked me. Well, I am not dilating or thinning out yet. I was so bummed. I am so paranoid he is going to be late and my mom wont be able to be here for it. If I do start dilating and my cervix is "favorable," I was told I could be induced a week early. If I am able to get induced, I want to do it on either July 1st or 2nd. I want him to be here by fourth of July so I can go to a bar-be-que. Mom asked me who was going to throw one and I told her that if I dont have anywhere to go, Robert will grill out! haha. Either way, July 4th I am eating some grilled chicken, watermelon, and anything else that I want. I dont care if I am pregnant or not. My body has been giving me a few issues lately, but I guess that is to be expected. I think things have flared up a little that were pretty close to nonexistent before. It makes things a little harder, but I have a lot of support from Robert. I probably scare that boy 24/7 because I get so grumpy...but he still loves me.
I can not wait to move to TN, but we are still trying to figure out how we are going to get there. We sold the black car which gave us the money we needed to get there...but then my car broke down and we are going to have to pay to get it fixed. It isnt going to eat all the money we got from the black car, but it is taking a significant chunk of it. I guess that is life for you- everything wont always be perfect. I miss Michael and Amy a lot. They have only been gone a little while, but I wish I could see them. I have no desire to really go to Idaho Falls since they are not there. Well, I best get off here. Love to all

So long, Keisha, my ghetto machine

We have been trying to sell the black car for a few weeks. Yesterday, within an hour, it was sold. A couple came and looked at it, test drove it, and called us back offering to bring a check right over. It was such a blessing and we actually got a little more than our asking price. It was a little sad to let her go though. I have Layla, my white jetta, but I will miss Keisha's attitude. Hahaha. Seriously though, that car had some personality. Now, hopefully we will have enough money to get us out to Tennessee at the end of July. It will be hard to just have one car, but I think we can make it work. Robert still has his bike, but we have to figure out how we are going to get it to TN.
Anyway, I go to the doctor tomorrow. I will let everyone know if I get any new news. Much love to yall!

Just Lookin' for a Waterfall

Last Sunday, as a nice little activity, we went in search for a waterfall in Swan Valley. We had looked it up on the internet and this is what we were looking for-

Well, we were never able to find them. But we did have a lot of fun...and this is what we did find

Cows- this one was my favorite

There really was a lot of beauty to be seen, even if we did not find that stinkin waterfall

It was a lot of fun and I got to spend time with some of my favorite people!

Craft Happy

Watch Bands: I love making these. These are actually for Amy and Kara-

Ri-guy: Im doing Riley's room in Busy Being all the Bees (Pres Hinkley). I made these to coordinate with his bumble bee bedding. I have soo much fun painting-

My Little Experiment: I have been wanting to paint and since I have all the free time in the world, I did this. It was a blank canvas at first.

This looked pretty dreary, so I wanted to make it look less dark. What do you think?

What a Wonderful Week!

Things were looking a little bleak for a few weeks, but let me tell you how things have shaped up. I have had the best past week. It was seriously wonderful. First of all, I called the University of Tennessee and told them about my situation and they were so understanding. They told me that it would be in my best interest and the baby's if I took a year off and deferred until next year. I really was not expecting that, but I wrote a letter asking to defer. Then, later in the week, I got a phone call from my doctor's office saying that I had won the drawing for a free one hour massage and lots of cute handmade flower clips for my hair. I was on cloud nine. My chances of winning were slim considering all of rexburg goes to my doctor and I only put my name in once. Michael had asked me if Robert and I could come down and spend the night with the kids on Saturday so he and Amy could go to Salt Lake. I said yes, and only a few days later he called and told me that his in-laws were coming to town so he couldnt go. He offered his hotel room to Robert and me. We went to Salt Lake and had so much fun!! On the way there, we stopped to get gas and saw a little barbeque stand. It was so delicious! If the sauce had been different, it would have been memphis-good. We mainly did things on Temple Square, but it was fantastic. I ran into Amy's cousin, Sister Alex Warner, which was a fun little surprise. Then, we went to dinner at The Garden restaurant. It is on the 10th floor of the Joseph Smith memorial building and it overlooks the temple. It was so pretty. I talked to the manager for a while and found out that her son is in memphis going to school. She brought us free fried pickles and they were so yummy. It was seriously the best part of the meal. After dinner, it was raining and we needed to get back to our hotel. We walked in the rain, but it was not too bad. I enjoyed it. I have had the best week :)

I can do this...right?

I have always wanted to go to dental hygiene school. Some people are confused about their career paths, but I never was. I worked really hard, kept a great GPA, and applied. Along this path, my life changed a lot. I got pregnant, but still had every intention of going to school, even if it was just a month after the baby came. I had not really prayed about it, but I felt like I needed to. I prayed and I was very strongly prompted to delay dental hygiene school in order to take responsibility as a mother. I was okay with this and I felt confident. Well, not too long later, I received an acceptance letter from the University of Tennessee Health Science Center. My heart was broken. All I thought I had wanted was right at my finger tips.
I was stubborn and looked into every possibility of being able to go to school. I felt a little guilty and one of my friends asked me if I had prayed about it...well, I had before, but I was questioning what I had felt and so she asked me to pray again. I did not want to though...I wanted to be able to do it and everything work out... I really dont think I was willing to hear. I humbled myself, and I looked even deeper. In a way, my heart aches giving up something that I have always wanted. I look at those educated women around me and I really do envy it. I have chosen to put off school this year because of something more important. It breaks my heart, but I am confident in my choice and I know that I have to have the faith to act on it...but it does not mean that this has not been difficult for me. I have to trust that the Lord knows better than I do...even though right now it is so hard. I just need some love and support right now-that might sound a little silly, but it has been a struggle. I can not complain though. Life is great, well except for the fact that I can not eat sweets for the rest of my pregnancy. I failed one of my blood-sugar tests and they told me I cant eat sweets or I will have a 12 lb baby. No ice cream is driving me crazy. We passed my dairy queen and they had blizzards buy one, get one for 25 cents. I started crying because I promise there are never deals like that when I can eat it. Boo you, dairy queen. Anyway, I better run. I love you all!

Here the belly is!!

Here you have the belly and all!!

Emotional Battles

Here lately, I have really been fighting to be happy. I feel like I am constantly just standing on the edge just waiting there. I am not sure why it feels like things are so much harder than they usually are. I know that there is a lot of pride and selfishness involved with feeling unhappy. I have been trying really hard to come up with a genuine recipe for smiles. I do not have a hard time smiling, but sometimes I do have a hard time just feeling good in general...Here is my spill.....(please be patient with me)
First of all, I know my hormones are all sorts of crazy because I am pregnant. Not only am I pregnant, but I barely transitioned from being part of a huge social scene in the "single" life. This really has been a hard transition. I went from constantly playing and being around tons of people to the norms of married life. Robert really is wonderful, but I miss being able to be around so many different types of people and just having girl time with roommies. I really hope that the people that do have those times and privileges do not take them for granted. They really are times to be cherished.
It makes me feel somewhat alone and everyday I am so scared that I am not going to be a good mom. I can have all the reassurance in the world, but I know it is something I am going to have to prove to myself.
Along with all these sad feelings, I have been having really bad anxiety. I get really nervous around people and then I start getting really hot and my face turns red, I feel like I cant breath and I am being suffocated. When I do get fresh air and I am alone, I cry. Im not sure what makes me cry, but I do. I feel scared and then I feel confined. I hate those feelings. What happened to the social butterfly in me?
I feel like I am writing these things and maybe it will be a step closer to me being better or doing what it takes to be better.
A call to action: I was reading in 2 Nephi 10, and verses 23 and 24 really stuck out to me. I read them a bit differently than I had in the past. This is what I pulled out of them: Happiness comes from aligning our actions with the will of God. It makes it perfectly clear in these verses that happiness IS a choice. I have always believed that, but I needed to see that and interpret it the way I did. Thank goodness for the little mercies in life....

Age: 21 glorious years!
Bed size: Full :-/ Hopefully that changes soon
Chore I hate: Folding clothes.....urghhh!!
Dog's name: None
Essential to start my day: Brushin my teeth
Favorite color: Red or turquiose
Gold or silver: Gold
Height: 5'8
I am: really tired...going to bed very soon!
Job: Full time student. Im working on getting a job though
Kids: One on the way. I hope to have lots.
Living arrangements: 2 bed room apartment. It is very cute! I love it.
Mom's name: I call her Bom, she goes by Diane, but her real name is Porla...I love you bom!
Nickname: Chare, Chare bear,
Overnight hospital stay: Bladder surgery
Pet peeve: Things not going in the dishwasher right.
Quote from a movie: "After all, tomorrow is another day." -Gone with the wind
Right or left handed: Righty-so original.
Siblings: Renee', Michael, Sandra, James, Rebekah
Time I wake up: If I could, 9:00 everyday. It just always feels good.
Unique thing about my car: Her name is Keisha; she is a black avenger
Vegetable I hate: brussel sprouts
Ways I run late: Usually just when I am waiting on every one else.
X-rays I've had: Oh, lots.
Yummy food I make: If I make it, it is yummy
Zoo favorite: Monkeys...hippos.